This is War

We are at war.

For some time now we have been terrorised by a bastard black cat. He comes in the house, defecates in the living room, sprays everywhere and eats keith's food. Today, he actually barged through the catflap and nearly destroyed the door.

I feel like a prisoner in my own home. Held to ransom by an angry black matted ball of fluff with teeth.

you think im exaggerating?

Honest to Zeus if this cat had a middle finger that it could stick up at me, it would.

So what should I do?

I cant catch it, i cant get close enough to throw water over it and keith cant defend himself against it. i may just borrow the old man's BB gun and shoot at it.

Would that count as animal cruelty? Hmm.yes. dammit.

Will have to rethink and come back to you.